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Full Dark, No Stars

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For Tabby

Still.

CONTENTS

1922

Large DRIVER

FAIR EXTENSION

A Expert MARRIAGE

AFTERWORD

FULL DARK,

NO STARS

1922

April 11, 1930

Magnolia Hotel

Omaha, Nebraska

TO WHOM Information technology MAY Concern:

My name is Wilfred Leland James, and this is my confession. In June of 1922 I murdered my married woman, Arlette Christina Winters James, and hid her body by tupping information technology downward an old well. My son, Henry Freeman James, aided me in this crime, although at 14 he was not responsible; I cozened him into information technology, playing upon his fears and beating down his quite normal objections over a period of ii months. This is a thing I regret even more bitterly than the criminal offence, for reasons this certificate will show.

The result that led to my crime and damnation was 100 acres of good land in Hemingford Dwelling house, Nebraska. It was willed to my wife by John Henry Winters, her father. I wished to add together this land to our freehold farm, which in 1922 totaled eighty acres. My wife, who never took to the farming life (or to existence a farmer's wife), wished to sell information technology to the Farrington Company for cash money. When I asked her if she truly wanted to live downwind from a Farrington's hog shambles, she told me we could sell up the farm every bit well every bit her father'southward acreage--my male parent's farm, and his before him! When I asked her what we might do with money and no state, she said we could move to Omaha, or even St. Louis, and open up a store.

"I will never alive in Omaha," I said. "Cities are for fools."

This is ironic, considering where I now alive, merely I volition non live here for long; I know that too as I know what is making the sounds I hear in the walls. And I know where I shall observe myself afterward this earthly life is done. I wonder if Hell can exist worse than the City of Omaha. Peradventure information technology is the City of Omaha, simply with no good country surrounding it; only a smoking, brimstone-stinking emptiness full of lost souls like myself.

Nosotros argued bitterly over that 100 acres during the wintertime and spring of 1922. Henry was defenseless in the heart, still tended more to my side; he favored his mother in looks but me in his love for the land. He was a biddable lad with none of his mother'due south arrogance. Over again and once again he told her that he had no want to live in Omaha or whatsoever city, and would go only if she and I came to an agreement, which nosotros never could.

I thought of going to Law, feeling sure that, every bit the Husband in the affair, any court in the land would uphold my correct to decide the use and purpose of that land. Notwithstanding something held me back. 'Twas not fear of the neighbors' chatter, I had no care for country gossip; 'twas something else. I had come up to hate her, you lot encounter. I had come to wish her expressionless, and that was what held me back.

I believe that there is another man inside of every man, a stranger, a Conniving Man. And I believe that by March of 1922, when the Hemingford County skies were white and every field was a snow-scrimmed mudsuck, the Conniving Man inside Farmer Wilfred James had already passed judgment on my wife and decided her fate. 'Twas justice of the black-cap diverseness, also. The Bible says that an ungrateful child is like a serpent's tooth, but a nagging and ungrateful Wife is ever and then much sharper than that.

I am not a monster; I tried to salvage her from the Conniving Human being. I told her that if we could not hold, she should go to her mother'due south in Lincoln, which is sixty miles west--a good distance for a separation which is non quite a divorce yet signifies a dissolving of the marital corporation.

"And exit you my father's state, I suppose?" she asked, and tossed her caput. How I had come to hate that pert head-toss, and then like that of an ill-trained pony, and the little sniff which e'er accompanied it. "That will never happen, Wilf."

I told her that I would buy the land from her, if she insisted. It would have to be over a menstruation of time--8 years, peradventure ten--simply I would pay her every cent.

"A fiddling coin coming in is worse than none," she replied (with another sniff and head-toss). "This is something every adult female knows. The Farrington Company will pay all at once, and their idea of top dollar is apt to exist far more than generous than yours. And I will never live in Lincoln. 'Tis not a city but merely a village with more churches than houses."

Do yous run into my situation? Do you not sympathize the "spot" she put me in? Can I not count on at least a piffling of your sympathy? No? Then hear this.

In early April of that year--eight years to this very mean solar day, for all I know--she came to me all brilliant and shining. She had spent most of the day at the "beauty salon" in McCook, and her pilus hung around her cheeks in fat curls that reminded me of the toilet-rolls one finds in hotels and inns. She said she'd had an thought. It was that we should sell the 100 acres and the farm to the Farrington combine. She believed they would buy it all just to go her father's piece, which was virtually the railway line (and she was probably right).

"And so," said this saucy vixen, "we can split the money, divorce, and start new lives autonomously from each other. Nosotros both know that'southward what you lot want." As if she didn't.

"Ah," I said (equally if giving the thought serious consideration). "And with which of u.s.a. does the boy go?"

"Me, of grade," she said, broad-eyed. "A boy of xiv needs to be with his female parent."

I began to "piece of work on" Henry that very day, telling him his female parent's latest plan. We were sitting in the hay-mow. I wore my saddest confront and spoke in my saddest voice, painting a pic of what his life would be like if his mother was immune to carry through with this plan: how he would have neither subcontract nor father, how he would find himself in a much bigger school, all his friends (most since babyhood) left behind, how, once in that new school, he would have to fight for a place among strangers who would express joy at him and call him a country bumpkin. On the other hand, I said, if we could hold onto all the acreage, I was convinced we could pay off our note at the bank by 1925 and live happily debt-gratis, breathing sweetness air instead of watching grunter-guts float down our previously clear stream from sun-upward to sundown. "Now what is it y'all desire?" I asked afterwards drawing this picture in as much detail as I could manage.

"To stay here with you lot, Poppa," he said. Tears were streaming downward his chee

ks. "Why does she take to exist such a... such a..."

"Proceed," I said. "The truth is never cussing, Son."

"Such a bitch!"

"Because most women are," I said. "It's an ineradicable part of their natures. The question is what we're going to exercise about it."

Only the Conniving Man inside had already thought of the old well behind the cow barn, the one nosotros only used for slop-water because information technology was so shallow and murky--only 20 feet deep and trivial more than than a sluice. It was just a question of bringing him to it. And I had to, surely yous see that; I could kill my wife but must save my lovely son. To what purpose the ownership of 180 acres--or a yard--if you take no ane to share them with and pass them on to?

I pretended to be considering Arlette's mad plan to encounter practiced corn-state turned into a hog-butchery. I asked her to give me time to become used to the idea. She assented. And during the next 2 months I worked on Henry, getting him used to a very different idea. 'Twasn't as hard every bit it might take been; he had his female parent's looks (a adult female's looks are the honey, you know, that lure men on to the stinging hive) but not her God-awful stubbornness. It was only necessary to pigment a film of what his life would be like in Omaha or St. Louis. I raised the possibility that even those two overcrowded antheaps might not satisfy her; she might decide only Chicago would do. "And so," I said, "yous might find yourself going to high schoolhouse with black niggers."

He grew cold toward his female parent; afterwards a few efforts--all clumsy, all rebuffed--to regain his angel, she returned the chill. I (or rather the Conniving Human being) rejoiced at this. In early June I told her that, subsequently peachy consideration, I had decided I would never allow her to sell those 100 acres without a fight; that I would send us all to beggary and ruin if that was what it took.

She was at-home. She decided to have legal advice of her own (for the Police force, as we know, will befriend whomever pays it). This I foresaw. And smiled at it! Because she couldn't pay for such advice. By then I was holding tight to what piddling cash coin we had. Henry even turned his pig-banking concern over to me when I asked, and then she couldn't steal from that source, paltry as it was. She went, of course, to the Farrington Visitor offices in Deland, feeling quite sure (as was I) that they who had so much to gain would stand up skillful her legal fees.

"They will, and she'll win," I told Henry from what had go our usual place of chat in the hay-mow. I was not entirely certain of this, only I had already taken my decision, which I will not get so far as to call "a plan."

"But Poppa, that'south not fair!" he cried. Sitting at that place in the hay, he looked very young, more like 10 than fourteen.

"Life never is," I said. "Sometimes the only thing to practise is to take the thing that you must take. Even if someone gets hurt." I paused, gauging his face. "Fifty-fifty if someone dies."

He went white. "Poppa!"

"If she was gone," I said, "everything would be the way it was. All the arguments would terminate. We could live here peacefully. I've offered her everything I can to make her go, and she won't. There'south only 1 other thing I can do. That we can do."

"But I love her!"

"I beloved her, besides," I said. Which, nevertheless little y'all might believe information technology, was true. The hate I felt toward her in that twelvemonth of 1922 was greater than a human being can feel for any woman unless dearest is a office of it. And, bitter and willful though she was, Arlette was a warm-natured woman. Our "marital relations" had never ceased, although since the arguments about the 100 acres had begun, our grapplings in the dark had become more and more similar animals rutting.

"Information technology needn't be painful," I said. "And when it'due south over... well..."

I took him out back of the barn and showed him the well, where he outburst into bitter tears. "No, Poppa. Non that. No matter what."

But when she came dorsum from Deland (Harlan Cotterie, our nearest neighbor, carried her virtually of the fashion in his Ford, leaving her to walk the last 2 miles) and Henry begged her to "leave off so nosotros can just be a family unit once again," she lost her atmosphere, struck him across the oral fissure, and told him to stop begging like a dog.

"Your father's infected you with his timidity. Worse, he's infected yous with his greed."

As though she were innocent of that sin!

"The lawyer assures me the land is mine to exercise with equally I wish, and I'm going to sell it. As for the 2 of you, y'all can sit down here and smell roasting hogs together and cook your own meals and brand your own beds. You, my son, can plough all the twenty-four hour period and read his everlasting books all night. They've washed him picayune adept, just you may get on meliorate. Who knows?"

"Mama, that's not fair!"

She looked at her son as a woman might look at a strange man who had presumed to touch her arm. And how my center rejoiced when I saw him looking dorsum just as coldly. "You tin can go to the devil, both of you. Every bit for me, I'k going to Omaha and opening a wearing apparel store. That's my idea of fair."

This chat took place in the dusty dooryard between the business firm and the befouled, and her thought of fair was the final word. She marched across the k, raising grit with her squeamish town shoes, went into the firm, and slammed the door. Henry turned to expect at me. In that location was blood at the corner of his mouth and his lower lip was swelling. The rage in his eyes was of the raw, pure sort that but adolescents can feel. It is rage that doesn't count the cost. He nodded his caput. I nodded back, just as gravely, simply inside the Conniving Homo was grinning.

That slap was her expiry-warrant.

2 days later, when Henry came to me in the new corn, I saw he had weakened again. I wasn't dismayed or surprised; the years between babyhood and adulthood are gusty years, and those living through them spin like the weathercocks some farmers in the Midwest used to put atop their grain silos.

"We tin can't," he said. "Poppa, she'southward in Error. And Shannon says those who dice in Error get to Hell."

God damn the Methodist church building and Methodist Youth Fellowship, I thought... simply the Conniving Man only smiled. For the adjacent x minutes we talked theology in the green corn while early summer clouds--the all-time clouds, the ones that float similar schooners--sailed slowly above us, trailing their shadows similar wakes. I explained to him that, quite the reverse of sending Arlette to Hell, we would be sending her to Heaven. "For," I said, "a murdered human being or woman dies non in God'southward time just in Man's. He... or she... is cut brusque before he... or she... can atone for sin, and so all errors must be forgiven. When yous think of it that way, every murderer is a Gate of Heaven."

"But what about us, Poppa? Wouldn't nosotros go to Hell?"

I gestured to the fields, brave with new growth. "How tin can you say so, when you meet Sky all around us? Yet she means to drive us away from information technology as surely as the angel with the flaming sword drove Adam and Eve from the Garden."

He gazed at me, troubled. Dark. I hated to darken my son in such a way, yet part of me believed then and believes all the same that it was not I who did it to him, just she.

"And think," I said. "If she goes to Omaha, she'll dig herself an fifty-fifty deeper pit in Sheol. If she takes you, yous'll become a city boy--"

"I never volition!" He cried this and so loudly that crows took fly from the fenceline and swirled away into the blue sky like charred newspaper.

"Yous're young and you will," I said. "You'll forget all this... you'll acquire city ways... and brainstorm digging your own pit."

If he had returned past saying that murderers had no hope of joining their victims in Heaven, I might have been stumped. Just either his theology did non stretch so far or he didn't want to consider such things. And is there Hell, or do we brand our own on earth? When I consider the last viii years of my life, I plump for the latter.

"How?" he asked. "When?"

I told him.

"And we tin can go on living here after?"

I said we could.

"And information technology won't injure her?"

"No," I said. "It will exist quick."

He seemed satisfied. And still it might not have happened, if not for Arlette herself.

We settled on a Saturday night near halfway through a June that was as fine as whatever I can remember. Arlette sometimes took a glass of wine on Summertime evenings, although rarely more. There was expert reason

for this. She was one of those people who tin can never accept ii glasses without taking four, then six, then the whole bottle. And another bottle, if there is another. "I have to be very careful, Wilf. I like information technology besides much. Luckily for me, my willpower is potent."

That night we sat on the porch, watching the late calorie-free linger over the fields, listening to the somnolent reeeeee of the crickets. Henry was in his room. He had hardly touched his supper, and equally Arlette and I sat on the porch in our matching rockers with the MA and PA seat-cushions, I thought I heard a faint sound that could accept been retching. I remember thinking that when the moment came, he would not be able to go through with it. His mother would wake upwardly bad-tempered the following morning with a "hang-over" and no knowledge of how close she had come to never seeing another Nebraska dawn. Notwithstanding I moved forward with the plan. Considering I was like one of those Russian nesting dolls? Perhaps. Perhaps every man is similar that. Inside me was the Conniving Man, but inside the Conniving Human being was a Hopeful Man. That swain died sometime between 1922 and 1930. The Conniving Man, having washed his damage, disappeared. Without his schemes and ambitions, life has been a hollow place.

I brought the bottle out to the porch with me, but when I tried to fill her empty glass, she covered it with her mitt. "You needn't get me drunk to get what you lot desire. I desire it, too. I've got an itch." She spread her legs and put her hand on her crotch to show where the itch was. In that location was a Vulgar Woman within her--perchance even a Harlot--and the vino e'er let her loose.

"Have another glass anyway," I said. "Nosotros've something to celebrate."

She looked at me warily. Even a single glass of wine made her eyes wet (as if part of her was weeping for all the wine it wanted and could non have), and in the dusk light they looked orange, like the eyes of a jack-o'-lantern with a candle inside it.

"There will be no adapt," I told her, "and there will be no divorce. If the Farrington Company tin beget to pay us for my 80 as well as your father's 100, our argument is over."

For the showtime and just time in our troubled marriage, she actually gaped. "What are you proverb? Is it what I remember you're saying? Don't fool with me, Wilf!"

"I'm not," said the Conniving Man. He spoke with hearty sincerity. "Henry and I have had many conversations nearly this--"

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